Today, I’ll share my UP Fair experience. this event was held last February 15, 2019 at UP Diliman Sunken Garden.
Before we get started, here is a short overview of what UP Fair is.
UP Fair is an annual event that showcase talents of various artists. Moreover, it is also an avenue to discern various social issues that are needed to be addressed. Cosmo’s advocacy tackled gender equality and Lumads’ dispute in their ancestral home. There are also various booths varying from food, drinks and what is a fair without the rides?
start of a FAIR
I have always been a person who puts so much value to words, with that I became the person who holds so much faith to promises. I still believe that pinky promises are bonds of trust and verbal agreement as something etched to my heart.
With that, I graced a promise to myself that I would attend UP fair with someone ‘special’.
however, due to sudden turn of events, I lost that person way even before I realized it. Doubt started to cloud my mind, “should I? or shouldn’t I? “
I weighed my options and a single word convinced me to come-promise.
There is no greater promise than the one you promised to yourself and if I can’t fulfill than promise then what right do I have to have faith in people when I dont have it for myself.
I started my journey with traffic. I had to travel 93.5 kilometers away from my hometown, roughly 4 hours of travel time just to wait for another 4 hours for the gates to open.
Waiting doesnt bother so much until its 31 degrees Celsius in the afternoon with no seats available and you gotta bear all the ticking hours alone. I was starting to regret my decision.
“maybe coming here wasnt a good idea afterall” I thought to myself
but I had to bear with it since there is already no point of return.
4 pm and it’s scorching hot, I forgot my umbrella but I told myself to suck it up and stayed in front. the crowd started to gather and before I knew it, it was already 9 pm.
BETTER
By then, one of my favorite OPM bands (Ben&Ben) got up on stage and sang “Kathang Isip“. all the memories flooded back on me, about a year ago, I could still vividly remember how I cried my eyes out, pouring every tears there is to a person who doesnt love me back, but looking at where I stand now, I couldnt even flinch or shed a tear.
When they finish their first song, Miguel, one of their vocalists said something that made me realize why I should be there.
“If you come here today with a weary heart whether it be from someone or something, now is the time to set that free”
without notice, a tear left my eyes. Music speaks to a heart that no man can console. It speaks the words we are afraid to be made public.
We bask in the steady glow of the lights with the moon as the witness to our souls as we sang each note with an overwhelming freedom to be just ourselves.
For in that moment, I wasn’t Joy who was trying to outrun something, I wasnt that joy who is unsure of the future, I was just joy who sings her heart out and i felt like everyone who sang with me understands me, like i dont have to tell them my pain for us to console each other.
-Mitsa by ben&ben
“Kapag ubos na ang mitsa
Anumang sindi, mapupuksa
Ang galit ay lumipas na
Inanod ng mga luha
Damdamin ay lumaya”
BEST
for the second time, I cant help but cry but there’s a huge difference to what I was feeling. I am healing.
I still hurt, and I know I’ll occasionally remember every person who burned a piece of me, it will hurt and that’s okay. Hurting is necessary to heal. For without this pain, I would never have known the freedom that comes with forgiveness.
As the night ends I realized that I have fulfilled my promise, to come to up fair with someone special and that special person is me. The trip has served its purpose well.
Pag wala na naman
din itong pupuntahan
Ay mabuti pang sabihin
na’ng salamat, salamat.
-MITSA BY BEN&BEN
Past midnight, I went out of the fair like Cinderella going back to her mundane life, but unlike her, I didnt have to bear the break of dawn alone.
I didn’t have to outrun anyone. I didn’t have to force it to myself to forgive the circumstances that people put me through for all I know, there is no sense of hate to anyone or to myself, just pure hope to new beginnings.
and that beginning started when I was welcomed with a smile from a familiar face in an unfamiliar place.
We sat on the field while nibbling on the food I bought inside. The night was cold but laughs are warmer. It was different from the exhilarating vibe inside, this was heartwarming.
2am, it was time to say good bye but instead of farewells, I uttered a mouthful of thank yous.
thank you for the extinguished spark,
see you again next year, UP FAIR.
(I’ll probably upload a separate gallery for my UP fair photos for archiving purposes hehe)
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Buckets of Joy 